At first, I thought it was sweet that my seven-year-old stepdaughter, Amila, woke up before dawn to make breakfast and clean the house. But then I discovered the heartbreaking reason behind her obsession with being the perfect homemaker.
Every morning, Amila would wake up early, cooking breakfast and cleaning, while I slept. One day, I caught her making coffee, her small hands shaking as she handled hot appliances. I realized this wasn’t just a routine—it was a need to please, one that made me uneasy.
When I asked why she was doing so much, she confessed that her dad had told his brother that a woman had to cook and do chores to be loved. Amila feared her dad wouldn’t love her if she didn’t do these things.
Shocked, I decided to take action. The next morning, I asked Ryan to do some chores, mimicking the pressure Amila was under. His confusion quickly turned to realization when I confronted him about the harm his words had caused.
That evening, Ryan apologized to Amila, telling her his love wasn’t conditional on her actions. From then on, he took on more household chores and became more mindful of his words, ensuring Amila knew her worth wasn’t tied to her ability to “earn” love.
It wasn’t just about the chores. It was about breaking harmful cycles and building a healthier family dynamic, where love wasn’t earned through perfection but given freely.
